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In case this whole computer thing doesn’t work out…

… I have devised a back up plan. I can become a Dudeist Priest. 

Yes, you read that right! I can be ordained as a minister of The Church of the Latter-Day Dude. Granted, the laws may vary from county to county on whether any marriages I officiate would actually be legal but the potential to spend most days wearing a bathrobe really appeals to me.

From what is Dudeism trying to liberate us?Thinking that’s too uptight.
To what state of being is Dudeism trying to bring us: Just taking it easy, man.
By what means does Dudeism attempt do this? Abiding.

Rev. Dwayne Eutsey
Arch Dudeship

Yeah, I can buy into that.

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Instead of watching the State of Union Address…

… I watched three hours of the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. Why? Because a Bichon made it to the finals and I love my Shamus.

I really, really do. I love him so much that I would love to have a gaggle of Bichons. (I don’t know if a group of Bichons is called a gaggle, but I am going with it for right now.)

One of the announcers said something I find to be inherently true right before Best of Breed was announced:

The best breed is the one you already have sitting next to you on the couch.

You are so very right, sir!

Congratulations to the Reserve Winner, the Old English Sheepdog, and Best in Show Winner, the Affenpinscher!

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At least I am consistent at being inconsistent…

… why does life seem to come at me a million miles an hour? Just when I get past one big time suck another comes along like a windstorm in the PNW.

Meh…

It’s Cyber Monday which means the Interwebz is behaving badly as a metaphorical mad dash is made to buy fleece sleeping pants, mp3 players, and toasters.

We own all of those things so I will just kick back and watch kittehs…

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Crap… It’s NaNoWriMo…

… And I am not a fiction writer. Seriously, the thought of penning a novel bores the ever loving daylights out of me.

Not once have I ever wrote a piece of fiction that has amounted to more than a pile that my dog has left in the yard. I wrote a short story once in high school to submit to the literary journal and I found it about two years ago. It was more horrendous than I remembered and further sealed my decision that I will always write about what I know….

… And I know I have no imagination.

That being said, I have decided to participate in my own way since I have written crap to speak of lately and I am finding my life a little stagnant.

So… I will be writing a post for each day this month with a mini-post to a link. Yes, I know I am already 5 days behind. Back off, things have been crazy. It is because of that you will have some days with multiple posts until I catch up.

The ultimate goal is to have 30 full posts and 30 mini-posts by midnight on November 30th.

Will it be 50,000 words? Who the hell knows? I may get lucky and hit that mark but it is not my ultimate goal as blogs that go on endlessly in one post make me want to shoot myself in the head… Or babysit toddlers… Both are hell as far as I am concerned.

Hmmpfff.

 

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Real quick: Super disappointed that Cee Lo did not have his kitteh on last night’s show. Nothing cracks me up more than him stroking that kitteh with his T-Rex arms.

Cee Lo and Purrfect

Photo: Art Streiber/NBC

On the upside, he was wearing red satin pajamas.

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Look What I Made! – The Bacon Chicken Edition

Okay, I admit, this was not accomplished alone. It most definitely takes two people to weave raw bacon into a sweater for a raw chicken. The boyfriend was more than happy to help me accomplish this amazing feat with very little convincing since it did involve bacon after all. It is not often that I say, “Hey look at what I found on the Interwebz! We should totally do this!” and he replies with, “That’s a great idea!” Our conversations go more like this:

Him: We should get a ferret.

Me: Ferrets stink.

Him: But they are so cool.

Me: No.

Him: Okay… Can I get a segway?

*The ferret and the segway conversations have happened on many occasions but not always together.*

So yeah, there we were wrapping our chicken in bacon but we were hard core. There would be no toothpicks to secure our bacon to the chicken so the layering of bacon had to be to the utmost of perfection.

Bacon Chicken

In it's raw and lovely state

I think we pretty much nailed it. 

I have to confess that in my excitement to feast on this beauty bacon-chicken, there are no after pictures. I do, however, still have “after” heart burn. The bacon grease that was in the bottom of the pan fried the bottom of the chicken as well, making the entire bird taste like bacon.

The verdict? Bacon-wrapped chicken is pretty cool if you have some time on your hands or really want to impress Aunt Ida at the family reunion/potluck/speed dating, but I don’t know if I would attempt it again unless I had an extra pound and a half of bacon laying around that I can’t put to better use…. but yes, Virginia, you can wrap a chicken in bacon.